Support your child athlete

What kind of player do you want your child to be?

It’s a hard question for some to answer honestly—but, would you rather your child be the player on the team that scores all of the goals, or the player who lends a hand to a fallen player, recognizes a great play by a member of the opposing team, and genuinely looks each player in the eyes when they say “good game” during the high five line up at the end of a game? Of course, we want our children to be both of these things, but unfortunately we are seeing more and more students that feel the stress of winning and being a ‘star’ on their team more than leaving feeling good about working hard, being a part of a team, and learning how to succeed and fail in a safe environment—that is their own.


Aside from providing opportunities for your child to learn the skills needed for team sports and developing a healthy relationship with movement, games, and exercise, one of the most important goals in the Physical Education department at St. Paul’s is to teach sportsmanship skills. Bill Severns stresses the importance of sportsmanship (life skills through sports) and at the end of the game what your child is really taking away from a 90 minute soccer game.

What kind of sport parent do you want to be?

We recently read an article that references an informal survey that lasted three decades initiated by two former long-time coaches who, over time, became staunch advocates for the player, for the adolescent, for the child. Bruce E. Brown and Rob Miller of Proactive Coaching LLC are devoted to helping adults become supportive sport parents. Speaking at colleges, high schools and youth leagues to more than a million athletes, coaches and parents in the last 12 years, they did a study where college athletes were asked what their parents said that made them feel great, that amplified their joy during and after a ballgame.
Their overwhelming response: "I love to watch you play."
At the end of the game it does not help, and kids don’t want to hear “Why did you swing at that high pitch when we talked about laying off it?", "Stay focused even when you are on the bench”, "You didn’t hustle back to your position on defense”, "You would have won if the ref would have called that obvious foul”,"Your coach didn't have the best team on the field when it mattered most”

“Let your child bring the game to you if he/she want to,” Brown says.

So what’s the takeaway for parents?
"Sports is one of the few places in a child's life where a parent can say, 'This is your thing,’ ” Miller says. "Athletics is one of the best ways for young people to take risks and deal with failure because the consequences aren’t fatal, they aren’t permanent. We’re talking about a game. So they usually don’t want or need a parent to rescue them when something goes wrong.
"Once you as a parent are assured the team is a safe environment, release your child to the coach and to the game. That way all successes are theirs, all failures are theirs."
And discussion on the ride home can be about a song on the radio or where to stop for a bite to eat. By the time you pull into the driveway, the relationship ought to have transformed from keenly interested spectator and athlete back to parent and child:
"We loved watching you play. … Now, how about that homework?"
PLEASE, come be a part of the discussion with Bill Severns. Even if you haven’t had a chance to read the book, we still encourage you to come and be a part of the discussion and learn how to better support your active, athletic, sport-loving child!
Reference: Henson, Steve. (2012). What makes a nightmare sport parent—and what makes a great one. The Post Game. Retrieved fromhttp://www.thepostgame.com/blog/more-family-fun/201202/what-makes-nightmare-sports-parent

SUPPORT YOUR CHILD ATHLETE

“Any parent who wants to enjoy watching (or coaching) their kids play a sport or perform in another organized kids activity instead of stressing should not miss the community discussion on October 1st with Bill Severns. Bill has over 25 years of youth coaching experience and therefore, he has a unique ability to help parents see the big picture when it comes to their kids. My wife Amy gave me Bill’s first two books Keepers of the Sandlot and Sandlot Strategiesfor Father’s Day a few years ago, and I read them both in less than a week. The messages in those books meant so much to me that I contacted Bill immediately to let him know that I would always be grateful that he took the time to put these guiding principles down on paper for the rest of us. Bill has become a good friend, and I haven’t been able to stop talking about his books and his messages to parents and coaches because I think every parent and coach needs to hear about it even if in some cases it doesn’t seem to resonate with them. Needless to say, Bill has had a huge impact on my approach to the “sandlot years” with my own children and the players on the teams I coach, as well as my efforts to preserve those sandlot years as they all grow up.”


John Moore – Father To: Wilson (8), Brooks (6), Anna Jane (3) – Toddler Student at St. Paul’s


Join us on Tuesday, October 1st at 6:00 PM for a SPEDS community discussion with Bill Severns, coach and author of Keepers of the Sandlot, a book providing insight and perspective about what our children truly seek through their participation in team sports.


Bill played professional baseball for six years in the Brewers organization, but his true passion came from the twenty-three years he spent coaching youth baseball. Through Bill’s life experiences, he has valuable insights and perspectives to share with our community and we strongly encourage all coaches and parents of children who play sports to attend. There is no charge for this event but please RSVP by contacting Linda van Thullenar at Lvan@speds.org. Copies of Keepers of the Sandlot and the Sandlot Strategy are available for check out from the Early Childhood office. If you would like more information about Bill or the books please visit: http://billseverns.com.